Well I'd like to spend some more time jotting down some slightly interesting wheezes about my weekend, but unless I did them in my sleep that wasn't happening. So I'll paraphrase. The weekend was the same mad rush to complete as many tasks, jobs and chores as possible as usual. So lets see after fireworks Friday evening I dropped off the rest of the family and went to play cricket. I'd like to blind you with the science of the game, the wrist spin, chinaman, stumpings and yorkers, but to be frank the game was far easier than that to describe. We got humped and it was none too pretty, no kissing, no loving, it was bare back and it really smarted. Of course the game was dissected in the pub afterwards, but no amount of analysis could hide the fact that we were crap and got 12 of the best trouser down. Home late and straight to bed, lots to do tomorrow.
Saturday was shopping for IPods early, out with Grandpa to buy a new bike a bit later. Then setting up said IPods after lunch followed by a game of football that we won. My 8 minute cameo was a thing of beauty only because everyone else was shattered from running around in the mud for 85 minutes. Then it was a drive home while listening to the radio as West Ham threw away a perfectly good 2-0 lead. In the evening it was out for dinner with the family then back home for tea and coffee.
Sunday was playing with IPods, housework, homework and reading in the morning. This was followed by a run at noon, a solid 4 miles, a walk along the seafront with optional Rossi's ice-cream and a bike ride straight after. The afternoon ended with lists to Santa, then more IPod action, roast dinner, more IPod stuff and then finally putting the two knackered nippers to bed. That just left the rubbish to put out and then I was done. Now the plan was to have an early night and it was going great until I stupidly flicked on the TV for a so called 15 minutes just to wind down after playing on the PC. Now we all have a couple of films that even though we have them on DVD and never watch them, we still watch them whenever they come on tele no matter what the time is. Now mine are My Cousin Vinny, Dune, Ali G in Da house (I know its crap, but I just can't help it) and tonight's option V for Vendetta. Yes I fell asleep somewhere in the middle but I saw the great ending and managed to slip into bed sometime after 12:30 hoping work would be a bit less hard work.
God Monday morning was a struggle and as I stared at the sink in the near darkness that was sometime around way too early I contemplated any excuse not to go to work, now some were really crap, but after a litte mental tussle I sorted myself out, got ready and set off for work. Considering it was Monday morning the roads were pretty clear all the nutters, madmen, blind drivers and forgein truck maniacs seemed to be going the other way. I sailed into work and was actual doing well right up until I opened my email to find 141 new messages. It was the best 4 minutes of the day. 141 emails, I was away for 3 days not 3 weeks, come on guys sort it out. Why does everyone copy everyone on every email even when they have just about nothing to do with me. Now I have a friend who shall remain nameless, but he has a great way of dealing with his email backlog. On returning from his summer holidays this year he was presented with a mail box that contained 1183 unread emails. Undaunted he just deleted the lot! His logic was if any of them were important then the author would send it again and if it wasn't important then he had just saved 5 hours of his life. He is my hero.
I battled through the usual stuff and after a spot of lunch I checked out the news and was struck by a story about a group of Anglican bishops that have defected to the Roman Catholic church. Pardon my french, but how the fuck does that work. How can you be a Protestant one day and a Catholic the next, that was some kind of day. The story is just great is says "they will retain a distinct religious identity", that's just code for you are fake catholics you can come in, but sit at the back with the gingers, sorry strawberry blondes and the Welsh. Now I'm sure these are clever and wise men and they know far more about the subject than me, but didn't that German bloke nail a proclamation on the doors of some church for a good reason. Something like all the fat cats sitting in Rome telling us what to do, in Latin, while stealing all our money for big gold crosses and posh frocks. I'm surprised it took the Germans that long to stop listening to the Italians, the Germanic barbarians had spent many a happy year plundering Italy while the Romans bribed other hard nuts from north of the Rhine to fight them. It was almost a national past time. The Italians are half arsed, they never finish anything, no staying power look at the Venus De Milo they didn't even do her any arms. Come on is it really that bad in the church of England, where they were, so they didn't like women priests. I mean who wants to be a Roman Catholic priest at the moment they are more hated than 2nd hand car salesmen, estate agents, MP's and bankers. Basically they are seen as a bunch of kiddy fiddling weirdos.
Look the bible was written nearly 2000 years ago and most of it from memory and over 50 years after the death of Jesus. I'm sure they made a few mistakes and I'm quite sure we aren't meant to take it all literally. If we did we wouldn't be able to eat prawns or wear leather shoes. Okay I'll give you a shortened version of the bible for the modern lifestyle, that cuts to the chase of it. Here goes,
It's a bunch of stories that have a hidden meaning that you can learn from. The important bits are be nice to everyone, don't be an arse, look after people that need your help, especially the old and young, even idiots should get a second chance and if you do these things then you go to heaven, the end, sorry Amen.
The rest of the day was normal as hell and I look forward to an average tomorrow.
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