And so we're back to Monday again and today had the potential to be a really, really crap start to the week. The kids are back from half term plus it's month end and with the clocks changing on Sunday everyone will be moaning about how early it gets dark now. Then they'll start with the whole I can't believe it's nearly Christmas already and where did the year go. I think the first person to give me the days till Christmas gets a kick in the bollocks. The standard statement will get the standard testicle jangling punt, but anyone doing the Christmas count in "sleeps" will escape any form of physical response. Anyone quoting shopping days til Christmas will have the afore mention globes of fatherhood removed with a dull spoon and roasted over a small camp fire. Not the most positive start to the day, I know and any mention of the French will really derail my day.
Why didn't I go to the petrol station last night like the wife said and why didn't I bring a coat? Why is she always right and why don't I listen? After this long I should know better. Off we go and low and behold not more than 12 minutes into my journey comes the news that the French want to stop people swimming the English channel. That's right the English Channel, the clue is in the name it's our channel, we won it fair and square. I believe in the drunken game of cup and ball, but a wins a win. If we want to spend 20 hours swimming it, dodging massive container ships, oil tankers and ferries full of drunken Brits spending their hard earned money in the cheap french hyper markets, then no-ones going to stop us. French might be the language of love, but English is the world's language and in every film I've ever seen even god speaks English (and always seems to look like Charlton Heston).
France is a beautiful country with amazing scenery. You have the hot weather and great beaches in the south, skiing in the north, with flat open plains that go on for miles and miles. Parts of it even look very much like England (almost perfect but not quite). The food is renowned as being the best in the world, cheese to die for and it's wines are simply without equal. I think eating snails was a joke that got out of hand though. It's the home of Champagne, Burgundy, Nicole from the Renault adverts and Napoleon. They have amazing restaurants and Paris has some great places to visit. Basically culture oozes from every stone in the ground.
All in all a very tidy little operation that is completely ruined by just one thing, the people. They are so far up their own arses that no wonder they turn their noses up at everyone else, the world must constantly smell of last nights part digested dinner, bile and pent up farts. They think that everything should be done the European way (i.e. the French way) and if they don't get what they want they go on strike, sulk or just ignore the rest us. It's a country of teenage boys, up tight, arrogant, self important plonkers who haven't really got a clue about how the world actually works. They get the huff at the drop of a hat, want everything done for them plus they don't wash enough. OK that's enough of the French thing, I'm being over dramatic. I like French people, but I couldn't eat a whole one, ba-boom (sorry it just slipped in, I couldn't help myself).
Actually all things considered the morning didn't go too bad, the clock change meant it was light in the morning and i didn't have to get dressed in the dark. The roads were busy, but nothing out of the ordinary and work was busy as well, but that good busy, the one that makes the day go quicker, not the one that makes your head hurt. Talking of hurt, the pain in my legs has nearly gone as well so when you add it all together it was a pretty good day for team me. This was further enhanced by some shoplifting action at Tesco's at lunchtime. Not me, I was only a bystander, but a fair tussle lead to the recovery of the goods and the thief's expensive bag getting broken. One nil for the good guys.
The afternoon was more of the same, tasks finished, spreadsheets complete, reports written and submitted. Month end can be a pain, but not today everything went tickady boo. Had a giggle at the fact that the people of Staines are thinking of changing the name of their town because of Ali G. I also liked the story and pictures of the 40m sink hole that appeared in the middle of a town in Germany. Check out the film on the BBC website, look out for the parked car. Their boss is never going to believe that excuse without pictorial evidence. The journey home was pretty normal and the evening was the same, so can't complain, not that we English do. And you know what? Tomorrow might be just as normal as today and long may it continue. By the way I hate those stupid mime blokes in the berets and black body suits, they are rubbish.
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